Hi friends! I’ve partnered with HALO TOP, the World’s Leading “Feel Good” ice cream brand to encourage you to “Stop Shoulding Yourself.”
SHOULD is defined in the dictionary as being used to indicate obligation, duty or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions. To me, should is the destroyer of happiness and joy and I am here to share today that I am a recovering “Should Woman”. What is a Should Woman? A Should Woman is someone who harbors guilt for things she doesn’t quite get around to. A Should Woman is someone who falls short and stops herself from truly reaching her potential. A should Woman is someone who does not focus where her feet are. A Should Women is someone whose internal dialogue does not quiet. We all have a Should Woman within us, but at what point does she become small and quiet and not loud and relentless?
As a new mother, I struggled with SHOULDING. I did not recognize that I was human and told myself I SHOULD be able to do IT ALL. During the early months of motherhood, I saw mamas all-over social media looking fabulous, taking their babies on luxury vacations and decorating their perfectly styled homes, while I…was deathly afraid to take a trip to the grocery store with my 3-month-old. When I hit rock bottom, I found myself within a postpartum anxiety bubble and I made the choice to create a Tangible Happiness Plan. I took a year of hard work, but I cultivated and found the ability to feel joy in the ebbs and flows of motherhood.
With that said; finding my strength and happiness also lead me down the path of SHOULD.
“Shoulding” stifles us keeps us from actively reaching our goals. The word SHOULD stops you from reaching your potential.
The areas of our lives we tend to SHOULD:
Motherhood:
I should sleep when the baby sleeps. I should sleep train. I should put my child in X activity.
Nutrition:
I should eat a salad instead of pizza. I should become vegan. I should eat more green leafy veggies.
Fitness:
I should work out today. I should go to the 6 AM class to be more productive. I should lift heavier weights.
Marriage:
We should go on a vacation. We should go to counseling. We should have more steamy sex.
Work-Life Balance:
I should have gotten that promotion. I should love my job more. I should make more money.
I ask you now, how would your life change IF you replaced “I Should” with I want or my personal favorite…I WILL!
Go ahead….try it…I’ll wait here.
How do you feel about those statements now? More empowered to take action? More achievable, right?
Society has the tendency to tell us what we should be doing, but if you lean into what you want to do and even further, tell yourself what you WILL do, you begin to realize the power lies within you to take control! Living through COVID-19 has forced my family and I to take a deep dive into our emotions. Emotions can be scary to sit with, but when you bring them up and resolve them, there is so much beauty that comes from processing. It’s healing. I have learned to stop shoulding and start willing! Even if that means sitting amongst a messy kitchen while my son and I eat ice cream and give each other big, cold wet kisses. Guess what?! The dishes can wait.
I have worked hard to stop Shoulding myself. Again, I had to create a plan. Instead of saying, ugh, I should clean the kitchen. I say, I WILL clean the kitchen when it works for me. I will eat the ice cream (especially if it is high protein, less sugar Halo Top) and enjoy every bite. I will workout, but in a way that feels good for me. No SHOULD, only WILL.
And, I want to help you do the same.
I have created a tangible plan of action (Downloadable Link) just for you!
If you are looking to work on “Stop Shoulding Yourself” download your plan and put it into action! You have the power, now you just have to believe.